| This crazy little thing called love? |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|04:52 am] |
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A simple biochemical process, or an intangible yet cosuming lifeforce? People only live to love - yet they do it so sparingly, they themselves question why. Love is war - it's a series of battles, it's hard won, and once won - it is fiercely protected - and once over - is mourned. |
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| Randomness |
[Dec. 8th, 2004|11:11 pm] |
Hi, if your reading this, then you've come to the random picture section!
Well, they really didn't turn out to be that random. But eh - whatcha gonna do.
This is where I live. It's not much, but it's home! And occasionally, you get to leave on holiday!
This is a picture of me with some drinking chocolate. It's the biggest .. VAT... of drinking chocolate I'd ever seen, hence my curiousness.
And this is my Scottish flatmate. He's a pyromaniac. And also lots of fun :)
This is Therese. She live with us? She doesn't live with us? Who knows?! She makes great pancakes!
AND THATS IT! TADA! YOUR TURN!
- Aaron |
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| Converge/PMFS |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|06:31 pm] |
I couldn't sleep last night! How awful!
My attempts at getting up at a relatively 'early' hour were once again dashed... the feng shui in my room must be off, maybe I need to direct the energy flow through it more efficiently with a few well placed mirrors, make sure my water to metal ratio is in accord... or I could alternatively make sure I don't drink a huge mug of hyper-super-d00per strength Maxwell house before I go to bed. Plus there was a random guitar attack on the streets beneath my window, some drunk (but decent enough singing) revellers had exited the Portobello (our local) and began a rendition of Oasis's 'Champagne Suprnova' at the convenient time of 4:30am.
Anyway. I picked my bike up when I arose, it was all fixed for a tenner! Well, everything except the front disc brake, but I should be able to get a replacement for that from those cowboys I bought it from. I brought Chris out for the walk, Ithink I shook him of the fear of having a mohawk (I flexed my shaving muscles once again! HOORAY FOR MOHAWKS)
God this job is starting to drive me nuts. The payoff between meeting people and the repeditivity of it all is blurring... sure it's easy as hell, but it's not challenging! At least I don't work in Kmart...
My weekend is shaping up nicely. AS IS THE STUDIO! I shall have access to my own 24 hour, 7 days a week permanent studio on Dublin's northside... it... will... be... godly. |
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| Sometimes it takes a full moon |
[Sep. 27th, 2004|02:13 am] |
I feel something behind my eyes, and I continually feel like I’m going to burst into tears, but I know I won’t – it’s a chemical reaction in my mind to my present situation and circumstances.
I don’t love her. But still I have feelings that would equate to love. Maybe it’s my completely human abjection to being alone, or, maybe more accurately, wanting to be with someone I don’t feel alone with.
Elin. Elin Elin Elin.
Will I be too proud to see her again if I found out she was with anyone in Thailand? Andrew, I have never met you, but I understand what I did to you. But I think we’d agree that it is not the fault of anyone to not want to be alone, the fault is merely human.
To describe my life at the moment is to describe a dream, one of those dreams where your aware you are slightly awake, but you still dream. I listen to Cliff Martinez, a composer, and that soothes my mood a bit. His music speaks not in words but understanding. Any gashes and cuts on my beaten, bloodless heart he seems to make better. Empathise.
I don’t feel anything anymore. And I’m not going to lament about it – it’s my own fault, through lethargy and sloth. Of the body and the mind. There has always been a great struggle for balance inside me, and ninety-nine percent of the time, when I know it’s not balanced, I’ll feel incomplete, powerless, enfeebled.
God, I really really need to sort this out soon. I swear, I’m not losing my mind, but I’m losing enough of my faith and hope in this world. And that’s what I need. I need to know that there’s more to it than this.
I was bit by a scumbag on the way to work tonight. I couldn’t really get in a fight with him, but I didn’t care if I did or I didn’t. I walked back past him again when he was sitting on some steps after giving up and leaving me, and he was just staring vacantly into space, he looked at me for a second, but whatever possessed him a minute ago had been replaced with utter complacency. He looked dead. He looked how I feel. I wanted to get the screwdriver and stab him, I thought about it for a few minutes, I really did. I really really didn’t and don’t care about getting arrested.
But then I realised that that would be something he’d do, and I know I’m better than him. But that doesn’t mean I’m a coward. It’s just the situation didn’t call for a test of who’s balls are bigger, but who’s the bigger man. I hope I was.
She arrives back in thirteen hours. I’ll still be working. I work a lot these days.
I hope I can see her again. I really need to. |
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| Fear and loathing |
[Jul. 16th, 2004|10:07 am] |
I continuously liken my rapidly approaching excursion to that movie - I hope it lives up to my expectations. I've been reading up on psilocybin (the active ingredient in mushrooms - hey! it pays to be informed) and apparently its like a more modest LSD trip, which suits me fine. Duration is usually up to 6 hours, with 20-60 minutes onset time. I have some home-grown, so they're usually more potent. Have to wait and see!
I'm wondering if it's prudent to get a few hours sleep at home before I go out - I suppose it is.
I was cleaning the store thismorning and actually took great pleasure in the antisepctic smell of it after. I'm really beginning to abbhor uncleanliness and disorder these days - it could be a reflex action from my inability to make headroad into serious study. Before I binned a CV that was left floating around here, I had a look at it. God damn thats where I want to be. The cunt could speak 5 languages.
Oh and I got a thirty euro tip off two drunk guys last night. Mmm!
Let you know how it all goes... |
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| Oddities surround us |
[Jul. 9th, 2004|06:19 am] |
Tonight was just plain... great! Only a few hours left and I've just been busy having a laugh the rest of the time. JP was in, Damien came down... ahh it was just a gooooood time.
Yes, drugs were involved. But only slightly.
Ok my neck is in a wierd position, write more later. |
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| Pimp my ride |
[Jul. 8th, 2004|03:09 am] |
"Oo baby you want me?
OO baby you want me?
Oo baby you want me?
Well you can get this lapdance here for free..."
Nothing like some misogynist lyrics to get the party started.
Earlier today, I had 20 pills, a good bit of purple haze, and some lovely netherlands grade-A mushrooms. I sold most of it - this time it was philanthropic, no profit - just testing the waters. The citizenry of Dublin are thirsty for this shit - and if you hang up your morals for a while, I'm sure you could stand to make a bit of money. Don't think it's my road though, but it's nice to know you have the marbles for it.
Ehehe. Marbles.
Planned a weekend away with Carlos the Phillipine next weekend, gonna head out to Dublin mountains in a Rent-A-Car and do a 'Fear and Loathing', load up the boot, bring some tunes, and go get lost in the jungle with the rest of the mushrooms. He has a proper video camera, inbuilt boom and everything, so we might aswell try and take some footage if we can.
Elin's leaving for Thailand for three months in August, which pretty much spells the end of it. For the second time. Although this time slightly more permanent than the last. Least I have a bed in Sweden anytime I'm around.
Our bands taking off. If you search for 'ridgewalkers' under google, you'll find us. We're being played at Oxegen this year (Irish music festival). Im excited.
God another seven hours to go. Wahey! |
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| Cellar Door |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|12:02 pm] |
Donnie Darko? Zoolander?
I watched Darko once before, and I didn't think too much of it. However - a second viewing proved that... well... I must of been in a bad way when I watched it first, because it's a pretty decent movie.
And Zoolander! Oh woe upon the person who orchestrated the trailer to that movie - it showed nothing of its comedic value at all - seriously, i was breaking my ass laughing throughout all of it - "There has to be more to life than being really really really really really really.. ridiculously good looking." Oh, Ben Stiller, and that Owen Wilson? guy - the script was perfect for them!
People will say that I'm crazy - but i'm not - I was in such a good mood after it.
Bah. I'm not going to write anything profound here. I was out last night with Elin and met up with a lot of her friends - really good, nice.. Swedish people. And a German guy. She had a friend though, Therese, who I'd seen in pictures (and she me), and we really hit it off - like one of those 'felt like I've known you for years' scenarios. She's real fucking pretty too. *plays U2's 'Desire' in the shop*
Appropriate music listening. |
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| Just a thought... |
[May. 19th, 2004|11:43 pm] |
As I was looking upon someone who fits the bill for a sleazy old fuck, fake leather jacket and crotchety swagger, this came to mind.
We See
We are the digital bartenders
We see that which before the morning comes
The slithering that prey and pay for helpless ones
They are the abusers of angels
They mask their mottled skin in hide
And cover their stench with angels breath
So as to draw them
And then to draw them
In two
- Aaron Kelly
*shrugs* |
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| Edinburgh |
[May. 18th, 2004|02:51 pm] |
What a weekend! Leaving behind the doldrums of work and worry, I set out with half a grand in my pocket and was determined to spend it as creatively as possible.
So, on the coach I was for the three hour trip to Belfast... the north! I'd never been to Belfast before... and leaving aside any jokes I can make about avoiding the bomb-blasts, I was keen to see it. Well... three hours passed, and I wandered out into the city streets at around 2pm... not bad! It was surprisingly bohemian.. I don't know how I got it into my head that everyone would be carrying tyre-irons and looking for people to 'nut'. To celebrate a new scratch on my "CitiesIveVisited" pole, I went to Subway.. and paid an extortionate amount for a chicken tikka footlong sub. Seriously it was crap. £4.30. POUND. Thats like... a lot.
So I quickly got myself lost, resolving that I had to quickly re-find myself and get back to the station at 3. And I did (go me). And from there went to Belfast airport, and from there to Edinburgh.
I should mention now that the reason I was flying out from Belfast was that there was a major credit card drama during the week, and my flights.. which were originally a respectable 14 euro, were now 90.
Ah.. no thanks.. I'll go through EasyJet instead. FUCK YOU RYANAIR. And EasyJet's staff are really really hot, there are these mad, young blonde things, and the guys are.. well, I'd imagine they'd be quite nice to look at too.
And so before my ass had left the chair - I was on my way to Glasgow.
Sorry, I'm sure you were expecting a big 'AND NOW I WAS IN EDINBURGH'... but it wasn't like that at all, througout the trip I'd been receiving text messages from Duncan, a hardcore perthite with a penchant for long, hard days and nights on the grog. A champion, of course. There was a Powderfinger concert playing in Carlin Academy, Glasgow, and I was running seriously late.
So taking the train from Waverly Junction (I saw the city for a few minutes before, oh my god, I see what they mean about the castle), I was straight over to Trainspotting territors on a 50 minute train ride. During the ride, I talked with these two old fuckers that'd never left their homeground - I was surprised they knew where Dublin was. I took a Werthers Original off them when they offered. Ahh but they were nice and pleasant people though.
Damn I hate writing long, sprawling entries. Phew *proceeds*
Took a cab (I have a photo! THEY ROCK! So futuristic, like the Dolorian) straight there, and Duncan somehow figured I'd get inside the place without a ticket. Uh.. no.. I tried calling him but no reception. Luckily the bouncer decided I wasn't altogether that shady, and let me use the inside phone. After a few hopeless retries, I finally got through to him. Yay! Come out you fuck.
The concert was great - needless to say, lots of aussies, and joints being passed around in the crowd. Afterwards we caught the last train home - and I must say - the train home - you can buy as much beer as you like from an off-liscence and drink it on there. Get smaaashed on the public transport. Its a trend that should pick up.
Afterwards, we lost everyone, so me and Duncan trawled through the streets to get home, stopping by his local chipper... he was recognised as soon as he went inside, the pakki behind the counter letting slip a knowing laugh as Duncan shambled through the door.
Battered sausage - chips - brown BBQ sauce. Oh my god. So good. And a pepperoni pizza between us. There is beer munchie heaven, and that is it. Duncan told me about the time he fell asleep in the store and they took his picture and put it on the wall (they have a great big wall of all the familiar faces that come there).
Afterwards, we had a hankering for a joint - and Duncs had lost a good chunk of hash at the concert - so he called up a french guy - Jean, who was asleep, but knew Duncan's antics well and said he could come round for some. So we did. And we took the rest back home with us.
Duncan's home is £35 a week. And it shows. I didn't see Duncans room till the last day, but it was hard to open the door - the weight of the ball of clothes and rubbish that had congealed infront of it made it hard. The other tenants were two girls, a Lesbian from Newcastle, NSW, and a 19 year old from .. I can't remember, who cares, she's fat - who were working in the Outback (aussie pub). The loungeroom was, predictably, a bit of a tip - but look! I DONT MIND! Im just describing things. I'm not gonna be all high and mighty - I've done the 'live in shithole' thing before.
But there was half an old tomato, a plateful of whatever was for breakfast that morning and a few knives and forks on the old brown lounge, just.. hardening themselves into the fabric. Duncan, the gentleman he is, offered me a seat on it. Cheers mate.
I'm going to kind of speed things up a bit - the next day was pretty much drinking at the Pear Tree - I'm not a big drinker, and I think I held up pretty good over a 12 hour period. After that, we went back to Duncan's mates house, and somebody put on a mexican salsa hat and started off a chain reaction of boyish flailing for the next hour. I had a freshly rolled amsterdam cigarette between my lips, and was chowing down on some Chicken Pakora I got at that amazing chipper... my god it was great (dont ask me how it felt the next day though... your ring is fucking on fire man from that shit).
I did manage to get some sight seeing done the next day - great great great great - but not as much as I would like - so I guess I just have to go back. Damn.
Oh yeah, when I came back - J.P rear-ended a surgeons BMW and nearly tore his leg off. I blamed him not coming to Edinburgh with me. Stupid ass-hair!
Ok, nice one, all done - I'm starving, I've only had an apple and a few bananas today - so I'm gonna go to Aldi, get some bargain food, go home, and cook me up a herbally infused, deliciously fresh and tender chicken stir fry .. or tortillas.. GOD THE CHOICE!
Later.... |
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